Golf Newfoundland and Labrador….Not Likely.

It’s April 1st and the golfing season will soon be upon us. The Willows normally opens mid to late April, followed by the Wilds and then the other courses around town. Twin Rivers also opens up relatively early as well - last year in early May. Golfnewfoundland is a provincial government website aimed at tourists and locals. Here's another very good site - Golf Newfoundland and Labrador.

I enjoy a game of golf and I don’t take it too seriously since - well - I suck at it. Over the past two years my handicap has gone from a reasonable 14 to something approaching positive infinity. My biggest problem is off the tee – zero consistency. It’s either a dead pull or a wicked slice. The only time I hit the fairway is if I get a lucky bounce. It’s embarrassing really. Good thing I have an okay short game (and a pencil.)

But I don’t get pissed off at it. The occasional “Oh Shit!” but no throwing clubs, no hissyfits, no blaming the seagull that farted off Bell Island. I’m sure everyone has played with that type of player. You know the kind - eye blinking is considered loud. Heavy breathing causes their putt to go offline. And it’s never their fault.

“Too bad about that putt there Bob.”

“Yeah, I hit it where I wanted, but the guy three holes back made too much noise tying up his shoe and threw me off.”

Ooookay. These guys are also the ones that take forever and a day to line up a putt or hit a tee shot. They make Jim Furyk look like Speedy Gonzales. But I digress.

While I enjoy the game, the skyrocketing cost of a round has made playing prohibitive. $65 to play Clovelly on the weekend? 50 bucks for the Hill. The Hill? (It was once a very good, well kept course, but that changed when they rearrnged the layout because of housing developments. And stopped using water.) Throw in a beverage, hotdog and cart and it’s a $100 day. And I don’t need to pay $100 to get aggravated, especially when I can get aggravated at home for free.

And memberships are out of the question for most of us. $2000 plus is a lot of dough, especially if you can’t play a lot.

But seriously, what are the people who run the courses thinking? It used to be that booking a tee time for a Saturday has next to impossible. You had to get up at 4:00 on Friday to get a time. Well, those days are long gone. And so are a lot of the golfers.

The boom has gone bust. Drive by the Hill on a weekend and all you’ll see are tumbleweeds.

So with courses empty, you’d think there would be specials or reduced rates. Better to have a course full at $30 a round than have it empty at $50.

The number of games I play has dropped off substantially. Now, I usually play twilight rounds since green fees are cheaper. But that’s when the courses are full. Hello? This is not rocket science people.

It has gotten so bad that next time you see me on a course, I’ll be caddying. (most likely for the Leafs) Golf Newfoundland and Labrador? Not bloody likely.