No More Donuts

To say blog posts have been sparse is an understatement. I’m shocked that I didn’t pull the plug a long time ago. Yet, it still exists and it still gets hits. A lot less now then back in the day when I posted on a regular basis. I’ve connected with a lot of good people through it – some of whom I’ve actually met. ;) To be honest, the only reason it’s still here is Paul. The urge to post - to write really - is a fleeting one at best, but one that is sometimes, somehow cathartic. A feeling difficult to explain. Creative outlet? Hardly. Venting? Maybe. Cathartic? Definitely.

Truth be told, anyone who posts does so for a reason. Political blogs are a good example. They are what they are. If you agree or enjoy the writing, you’ll tune in. If not, you’ll drop out. No harm, no foul. My blog has morphed from a random assortment of nothingness to an occasional I-don’t-give-a-shit anymore. This is how I feel – warts and all – and if you don’t like it, don’t let the virtual door hit you in the virtual ass on the way out.

As I said, the only reason the blog still exists is Paul. Plain and simple. He’s my brother and this is a way to deal with this shit. He’s well now - as well as a traumatic brain injury will allow I suppose - after six months of being sick with pneumonia, type A influenza and bladder problems. The no more blood in his urine is a bonus. But he’s losing his ability to swallow involuntarily - a big area of concern. He’s good for now but two weeks ago there was talk of tubes, comfort care, and comfort palliative care. WTF? But after further assessments, he’s good. No plans for tubes anytime soon. I won’t allow it until absolutely necessary. Once they go in, they don’t come out. But due to his inability to swallow, his meals are now pureed. So no more donuts. I miss that. I feed him yogurt or pudding when I visit. Yay.

And the music has died too - at least for now. We can’t listen to Clapton, Zeppelin or Stevie Ray and he starts crying. Fuck. I’m hoping this passes. For both of our sakes.

So there it is. Warts and all.