Tis the Season

For college football.

I'm a huge fan of both pro and college football and try to take it as many games as I can over the Christmas break - that and the world junior hockey tournament, which starts later today in Saskatoon and Regina. (Canada should easily handle Latvia today but Sweden and Russia are legitimate gold medal contenders.)

Like I was saying, I love the college game. Now the big games - those with national champion implications - don't take place until the New Year and some of those older bowl games, those with storied traditions like the Rose Bowl, the granddaddy of all bowls, take place on New Years Day.

But over the past number of years, especially with the advent of the Bowl Championship series (BCS), corporate American has started sponsoring and renaming the Bowl Games. The FedEx Orange Bowl, Allstate Sugar Bowl and Tostitos Fiesta Bowl have been around for a while and are sponsored - at huge expense - by nationally known corporations.

However, this year seems to have some smaller, lesser known companies joining the sponsorship fray.

Here are a few examples with some commentary from Yahoo finance.

The Chick-fil-A Bowl. (Virginia Tech v. Tennessee, Dec. 31, Atlanta.) Companies named after poultry just were not made to sponsor bowl games. This sounds like a family-style dish you might order at Olive Garden, not a sports contest. Back in prehistoric times, before corporate America owned college football, this game was known as the Peach Bowl. How far we've come.

The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. (Utah v. California, Dec. 23, San Diego.) How cheap are these sponsorships anyway? Credit unions are known for being thrifty, so the Pointsetta Bowl sponsorship must have been a great deal. If prices keep falling, maybe local businesses will even be able to get into the game. I can't wait to watch the Ajax Dry Cleaner's Bowl.

The Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. (Houston v. Air Force, Dec. 31, Ft. Worth.) If you really want to honor the men and women in uniform, just name the bowl after them, period. Don't stick you own name in there and ride on their coattails.

The GMAC Bowl. (Central Michigan v. Troy, Jan. 6, Mobile, Ala.) Would anybody tune in to watch something called the AIG Bowl? Well GMAC is barely in better shape. This troubled lender has received $12.5 billion in taxpayer bailout money and is one of only a few big companies still limping along, unable to pay back the money. Somebody please explain how this sorry performance exemplifies the ideals of college athletics.

The Papajohns.com Bowl. (South Carolina v. Connecticut, Jan. 2, Birmingham.) Why the .com? Is pizza now virtual? Let me guess: If you go to the Web site, there are FREE COUPONS that will save you money and persuade you to order more pizza. Now that's in the spirit of football

The Meineke Car Care Bowl. (Pittsburgh v. North Carolina, Dec. 26, Charlotte.) Does every ticketholder get a free quart of oil? This sounds like a competition between auto mechanics racing to see who can complete a tune-up in the fastest time (and charge the customer the most).

The AutoZone Liberty Bowl. (Arkansas v. East Carolina, Jan. 2, Memphis.) If you're like me, that's exactly what you think of when you shop for car parts: liberty. Before long they'll probably just drop that silly word.

The Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. (Bowling Green v. Idaha, Dec. 30, Boise.) Good sportsmanship, which this bowl promotes, wouldn't be the same without a corporate sponsor. And when Americans think of humanitarianism, the first thing that comes to mind is a Roady's truck stop.

The Advocare V100 Independence Bowl. (Texas A&M v. Georgia, Dec. 28, Shreveport.) It sounds like a nursing home, but Advocare is a vitamin company that's keen to promote a certain lineup of nutrition supplements. Maybe next year the game will be called the Advocare PowerShake Bowl or the Advocare SuperSmoothie Bowl.

The Outback Bowl. (Northwestern vs. Auburn, Jan. 1, Tampa.) Brought to you by Australia! Or is it Subaru? Or is it the steak house? Don't worry, within a few minutes of tuning in, the announcers will have mentioned the exact sponsor about 20 times.

The R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl. (Southern Mississippi v. Middle Tennessee, Dec. 20, New Orleans.) If FedEx can sponsor the Orange Bowl, then this little-known cargo company can sponsor this little-known game matching two unranked teams. Maybe some day R+L will copy another FedEx move, and come up with a more pronounceable name.

I think the worst name is The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. With  honourable mention to The Papajohns.com Bowl, The R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl and The Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. Yikes.

I think Knute Rockne is rolling over in his grave.