I don't get no respect.

Rodney Dangerfield was born on this day in 1921. For a full bio, check here.

Famous for his self-deprecating humour, here are a few samples of one-liners from his book It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs published in 2004. They still stand the test of time.

I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

In my life I've been through plenty. when I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.

When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiement.

When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up.

I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."

I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it.

I was an ugly kid. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get.

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend.

I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.

And of course.... I don't get no respect!